10 Embarrassing Reasons I Wasn’t Trying to Get Free

 

 

 

At one point I was tempted to believe that I could overcome porn with just a small amount of effort.  I was wrong. 

 

Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian in history and also holds the most gold medals.  You could argue that his body is perfectly made to be an Olympic swimmer.

Is that good enough? Heck no!  Michael Phelps does not win by giving just a little bit of effort.  He wins by giving 100% effort – in his training and in the actual race.

 

I didn’t know it at the time, but overcoming porn was not something that was going to happen with 50% effort.

 

But don’t hear me say that 100% effort is equivalent to 100% willpower.   It’s not. Successful people don’t start new habits with just willpower. But it will take some effort to be vulnerable, to figure out your patterns, your triggers, etc.  

 

But I didn’t want to put in the effort it would take. 

 

It’s kind of embarrassing to admit that. 

 

Maybe even more embarrassing are the excuses I was telling myself. 

 

But because I want to be vulnerable with you, I’ll share my reasons!  I would say don’t laugh, but I’m guessing you can relate with a lot of these!

 

 

  1. Pride – I thought my problem wasn’t that bad – or at least not as bad as others.
  2. I deserve this! – It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but yes, I would think that thought to myself.
  3. Ignorance – I didn’t know what it really took to retrain my brain
  4. Fear of failure – What if I really try and don’t get free? I didn’t want to fail!
  5. Identity issue – I would sometimes think there is no hope, this is just who I am
  6. The Safety Net – If I don’t go all out, I still have an excuse of why I didn’t get free. I can always say “I didn’t really try.”
  7. Pride again – I thought that I’m stronger than most and I can overcome without really trying.
  8. It’s not worth it – Would my life really be that much better if I never did this stuff?
  9. Hopeless – I’m just more sexual than most so why even try?
  10. I kinda liked it!  – To be very honest, I liked my escapes from reality and living in my fantasy world. I was the man in my fantasy world!  I would have the thought, “do I really want to give this up?”

 

Bonus: I didn’t want to be known as a liar – I had lied but what if people didn’t know that I had lied… then I wasn’t really a liar, right?

 

Am I crazy for having those thoughts?  I’d love to to know what you guys are thinking.  

 

The Perfect Recipe

Let me be very clear in saying that just “trying harder” will NOT get you free.

One of my buddies tried really hard for over a year by “white knuckling it”. He actually went an entire year without “messing up”!…. but he still wasn’t free.  He started messing up again after that year.

 

Trying harder didn’t work.

 

 To overcome his struggle he needed the perfect recipe of trusting in the power of the Holy Spirit, learning and applying some tools to overcome his prefrontal cortex,  and digging deep emotionally to answer this question:

 

What’s the real reason that I keep turning turning to porn instead of turning to God?

 

That might be the hardest part!

 

You are an incredible man with incredible potential.

 

Let’s win the fight so we can run the race!

 

 

Tasks:

  1. Continue to think your routines (from yesterday’s video “Addictive Cycle”)
  2. Continue to address routines with effective boundaries
  3.  Read Romans 6:16 and answer questions
  4. Post in the forum

 

 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

Romans 6:16

 

We are slaves to our thoughts – whether they are good or bad. 

 

How does this verse apply to the sexual addiction cycle?

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