Speaker 1:                           00:05                     [inaudible].

Speaker 2:                           00:07                     One of the tools we want to equip you to use is the zones of recovery. It will help you evaluate where you are in relation to recovery and relapse. Each of the three circles represents a different zone that you can be in the recovery zone, the danger zone or the relapse zone. Hopefully you are learning how to determine which zone you’re in. As you do check-ins on the fight club calendar, you’re in the relapse zone. When you engage in one of the behaviors that you committed not to using porn, masturbation, hooking up or other unwanted sexual behaviors. Once you’ve established a track record of sobriety, it will be helpful to expand your definition of relapse. You will want to expand it to include those activities that are on the edge of relapse, like watching bikini models. For instance, though technically it wouldn’t be a relapse.

Speaker 2:                           00:59                     The heart behind the behavior is the same as that of a relapse and your definition should eventually expand to include it. If you don’t grow your definition of a relapse, you typically find yourself justifying these triggering behaviors which will lead to relapse. For now. Keep your definition for relapse basic, but know that over time it should grow. When a married man who is pursuing recovery confesses a relapse, he can easily see the pain his sin causes his spouse and it’s a powerful reminder of the destructiveness of his behavior, but the single guy misses out on these natural consequences and can therefore develop callousness to the pain his sin will cause in marriage. Because of this, dr Ted Roberts suggests that single guys come up with their own natural consequences for a relapse. The single men who learned to connect, they’re acting out with negative consequences often find sobriety sooner.

Speaker 2:                           01:56                     Natural consequences are not a punishment for your sin or penance because Jesus paid for our sin. Once for all the natural consequences are strong reminders of the pain that our sin causes. If you look at porn on your smartphone than a natural consequence might be cutting internet on the phone for a time. If you look at porn on another device than the consequence could be going without it. Other consequences could include giving away money you would normally use on entertainment, restricting internet access to certain hours or limiting your phone to certain websites. I know of a group of guys that traded in their smart phones for flip phones for awhile so they could feel the pain their sin will cause in marriage. You need to decide on your own consequences and if you’re in a small group, get their input. It is helpful to have a relapsed contract that has the agreed upon relapse behaviors along with the consequences that you signed with your accountability so that everyone is clear about what a relapse is and its consequences.

Speaker 2:                           03:02                     The danger zone is when you do one of the triggering activities that leads you toward relapse. What are those activities, people, media or situations that you know you need to avoid because they stir up sexual cravings and lead you toward relapse? Romans 1314 says, make no provision for the flesh. Making provision for the flesh means leaving the door open for your fleshly appetites to be stirred up. This is the danger zone. We will talk more about triggers later including emotional triggers, but for now started densifying your triggers that stir your sexual cravings that you know you need to avoid. A guy may think an urge hits him out of nowhere, but when he retraces his steps, he often discovers that he was living in the danger zone by checking out girls during the day, dwelling on an impure thought, watching a movie with a sex scene and then isolating himself when he felt tempted.

Speaker 2:                           04:01                     Each of these activities triggered him and moved him toward relapse. They put him in the danger zone. Something else that can put you in the danger zone is not doing the majority of your core practices, both triggering activities and neglecting core practices put you in the danger zone because they lead you toward relapse. Being in the recovery zone means you are practicing the majority of the core practices regularly and you aren’t doing any of the triggering activities in the danger zone. It is important to recognize that recovery isn’t just about stopping certain behavior, but it’s about adopting a new lifestyle that includes core practices. Each time a core practice is introduced, it will appear in the fight club so you can evaluate how you’re doing with them. The zones of recovery are helpful only if you use them. Prioritize checking in on the fight club calendar to evaluate which zone you’re in and to let your accountability know about it. You should add to each of your zones. As you progress through the freedom fight, you will add core practices to your recovery zone as they are introduced. You can add to your danger zone as you learn more about what triggers you and you can expand your relapse zone as you mature in your recovery.

Speaker 1:                           05:27                     [inaudible].

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