Speaker 1:                           00:05                     [inaudible]

Speaker 2:                           00:07                     in 1912 this ship that couldn’t be sunk, the Titanic hit an iceberg and ended up at the bottom of the ocean. It wasn’t the part of the iceberg that was sticking out of the water that did the lethal damage, but it was a part of the iceberg under the water that sliced the fatal gash into the hole of the ship. It is estimated that the iceberg that sank the Titanic was a mile loan in the vast majority of it was underwater. It is what is below the surface that is typically the most dangerous. Another way to look at sex addiction and the factors that are driving the behavior is as an iceberg. The behavior is only the tip of the iceberg. Below behavior are the routines. Those things you do to set the table to acting out the behavior and routines are the only aspects of the addiction visible to the eye.

Speaker 2:                           00:55                     Just below the surface of the water is fantasy. As shown. Fantasy is a very large part of the issue and is ultimately what feeds the routine and behavior under the fantasy or the five factors that are driving you to seek fantasy and sexually acting out in order to walk in freedom for the long haul. You must address each of these issues effectively. As we discussed, just focusing on the behavior can work for a while, but it will always come back unless you deal with the unseen drivers. To address the behaviors, routines, fantasy, and a sexualized society. We must establish healthy boundaries and have good accountability and practice brace. How are your boundaries? Have you closed all access to porn in your life? Are there triggers that you are allowing into your life that regularly lead you to act out? One of the men that I currently counsel recently made the observation that the last five times that he acted out, it was late at night and it was triggered by social media, so we set boundaries for himself on his bedtime and he got an accountability partner to remove his social media from his phone.

Speaker 2:                           02:04                     His boundaries have removed those triggers and as a result, he has an acted out. Since are you practicing brace? Whenever a tempting thought or trigger hits you, practicing brace can literally be done in less than 60 seconds and it can make the difference of walking in freedom or not. Imagine you’re sitting in your room alone watching TV and you are triggered by a movie commercial of a sex scene. Your mind turns to sexual thoughts, but instead of continuing on that path, you engage your prefrontal cortex by breathing deeply. As you are doing this, you begin to recite Matthew five eight the pure in heart will see God. You meditate on the fact that you want to know God better and sexual sin is a hindrance to that. After this, you text an accountability partner and let them know you’re being tempted and ask for prayer.

Speaker 2:                           02:55                     This move alone has often made the difference in whether a man out or not because he knows someone will ask him about it. Later. As you text your accountability partner, you walk out of the door to join people in the living room, run an errand or workout. You escape isolation. Breathe deeply. Remember the truth, accountability call escape. In less than 60 seconds, you can brace yourself for battle. The men who practice brace have a significantly better track record of resisting temptation because they are relying on God’s word and the help of others instead of relying on themselves. One of the biggest hindrances to you walking in freedom is the fact that you’ve resisted temptations many times on your own. Maybe you can resist 80 to 90% of the temptations you face, but it’s that last 10 to 20% that keeps you in bondage. Practicing brace every time you are triggered is the only way to be ready for the 10 to 20% of temptations that you’ll need it.

Speaker 2:                           03:56                     Not practicing. Brace is like saying, I don’t need my seatbelt most of the time, so I’m not going to use it until I really need it, but of course we never know when that is. Walking through. Brace also renews your mind with God’s truth and deepens your convictions to pursue purity, but it also creates new pathways when you are triggered. Building new pathways is essential to walking in freedom practice brace relentlessly, especially in the first year of recovery. Addressing the addicted brain starts with understanding the brain science of addiction because this will deepen your resolve to have boundaries and practice brace. The more you understand pornography’s impact on your brain, the more motivated you will be to stop the behavior and renew your mind. To deal with emotional pain and discomfort, you must learn to grow in your emotional awareness and learn to process the pain instead of medicating it.

Speaker 2:                           04:52                     Manning up to face your pain and emotions head on will be an important part of your recovery, but it begins by growing in your awareness of your emotions. You must learn to process significant trauma or dysfunction which could require counseling. In some cases, shame is dealt with by embracing the fact that you are not your addiction, but that in Christ you have an identity of infinite worth and value. Freedom is near when you internalize the truth that your significance in life isn’t determined by your performance or others’ opinions, but it’s based on who you are as a child of God. Receiving Christ and living out of your identity in him is the only way to truly replace a shame identity. We have addressed some of these underlying issues thus far, and we will continue to do so throughout the rest of the program. Each of these elements of the iceberg is best processed in an effective small group. If you aren’t going through the freedom fight in a small group, you should. This program is helpful to go through individually, but it’s even more transforming if you process these trues with a small group after going through this individually, consider recruiting some friends to go through it with you so you can process these truths in the context of community. The repetition of these truths will help take them deeper in your heart and mind, and that is what it’s going to take to walk in freedom.

Speaker 1:                           06:19                     [inaudible].

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