Speaker 1:                           00:06                     [inaudible].

Speaker 2:                           00:07                     Most men who struggle with a porn or sex addiction have a tendency to deny, minimize, and rationalize their condition. This desire to hide the truth must be overcome to find freedom. Being truthful with yourself and others about where you are in your addiction is essential to your recovery. Do you know where you are in your addiction? Evaluate yourself as we briefly look at four stages of dependency. Stage one is experimentation. You get into the unwanted sexual behavior because of curiosity. The second is excitement and pleasure. You enjoy it and therefore seek it regularly for pleasure. The third stage is self-medication. The chemicals released in the brain during porn use mimic the chemicals released during drug use. Just as someone can start using drugs recreationally and then get hooked. The same can happen with pornography. The sexual high is used for medicating pain and numbing out.

Speaker 2:                           01:07                     The scary thing is that for some, it only takes one exposure to porn to get hooked at this level. The final stage is dependency. In this stage, sexual outlets begin to dominate your brain and life. Your brain becomes dependent on the chemicals again and again. You feel the need to use just to be normal. You have developed a chemical dependency. You try to stop, but you can’t. What makes porn addiction so dangerous is how quickly you can move to this dependency stage. Whether your struggle is porn, hooking up or fantasy and masturbation. It is important to know where you are in the stages of dependency. There is a clinical test in the resource section after this video called the sexual addiction screening test. Take this test to give you a more thorough understanding of exactly where you are in your struggle. The more aware you are, the more effectively you can deal with it.

Speaker 2:                           02:05                     Jesus said the truth will set you free. Acknowledging the truth about your addiction and sharing that truth with others are both crucial steps to finding freedom. Secrecy is porns favorite fuel in the place where your addiction flourishes. You must embrace getting real with others if you’re going to make progress in your recovery. There are at least four reasons that telling the truth to others is key to your sobriety. First, you can be accepted for who you truly are. When those you trust. Know the truth about you and still love and accept you. The fear that kept you in hiding is gone. Telling the truth allows you to face the core issues, the real issues that drive the addiction can be dealt with only when they aren’t covered up by lies or half truths. Thirdly, accountability is essential for you to break. You can’t have effective accountability without openness and honesty.

Speaker 2:                           03:05                     Fourthly, you won’t have healing without this step. Healing begins when you had the courage to be vulnerable and invite others in the desire to hide and minimize your condition. While only sabotage your recovery. God blesses those who confess their sins and ask for help. God says in his word, whoever conceals his sin will not prosper, but he you confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. He also says, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another. That you may be healed. Being honest with yourself, with God and others is essential to finding freedom. You are courageous to start the freedom fight and you will continue to need courage to invite others to hold you accountable. Here are seven tips for inviting someone to be your accountability partner. First, brainstorm a list of people you trust. Get more than one. Having multiple accountability partners will only strengthen your ability to fight.

Speaker 2:                           04:03                     Make at least one accountability partner. Someone older like a mentor. Don’t make your accountability just a buddy who won’t challenge you. It can be a peer, but one who is also committed to walking in freedom. Don’t make it someone that you would be too tempted to lie to, but someone that you can be completely honest with. Don’t ask your girlfriend to hold you accountable. That’s proven to always be a bad idea. Consider recruiting a group of friends to go through the freedom fight with you. You can meet weekly to discuss what you’ve learned from the program and keep each other accountable. The small group module has everything you need to facilitate an effective small group. Now is the time to deal with this aggressively. The longer you wait, the more entrenched this stronghold will become in your life. The truth will set you free. I have a challenge for you. Before you watch the next video, ask at least one person to hold you accountable. This will be important to have in place for the rest of the program. If you need ideas of exactly what to say, to ask someone to be your accountability partner. Read the script and the resource section after this video to get some ideas. As you step out in courage this week, and ask others to hold you accountable. Know that your journey towards freedom is about to begin.

Speaker 1:                           05:27                     [inaudible].

 

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