Blake: Welcome to the endurance podcast. We are a community of men that are trying to run our God given race with full endurance. We have a great interview for you guys today. A new friend that I have made, Mr. Jeff Ray. Jeff has a great story of how God has redeemed him and I can’t wait for you guys to hear it. Jeff, welcome to the podcast.
Jeff: I’m very thankful to be here. Thanks for lunch.
Blake: Well, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself, who you are, what are you known for?
Jeff: Okay. Well, first and foremost, I hope to be known as a son. Just, you know, learning how to walk out, what it means to be a son of Christ more than anything. As a husband, been married for 28 years, going on our 29th year, got three adult daughters; they’re 27, 26 and 25. I’m from Tulsa, lived in Tulsa predominantly my whole life in the marketplace. I have a company where we help optimize the performance and growth of other companies. So I’m a consultant, a strategy consultant by trade. My wife and I are also family life pastors at Destiny Life Church. That’s not a full time role, not a full time gig. We do that out of our heart but it is something we’re passionate about just seeing people fulfil the call on their life and get free. And as you and I both know, you’ve got to remove strongholds to do that. And I’m sure we’ll talk more about that here in just a bit.
Blake: Yeah. Well, Jeff, I know through your story and just through your life, you’ve impacted a lot of people and so you’ve already impacted me in the short time that I’ve known you. Well, I know you’re excited about the endurance. Why don’t you tell us why?
Men want to stop looking at porn, or overcoming porn or masturbation, because they know that looking at porn and mastrubating can be a bad habit. They things like joining the no fap movement (nofap), covenant eyes, xxx church (xxxchurch), the freedom fight, pure desire, 7 pillars, the conquer series, the endurance, 30 day challenge, fight the new drug, or a counselor. Sometimes these help guys with purity but sometimes it does not.
Jeff: Yeah. Tell you what, so having ministered to men for 20 plus years, but over the last 17, and you know, I’ll touch on this and in my story, last 17 years of being completely known to my wife and really walking out healing in the path to freedom. We’ve got a great discipleship track that we’ve used. But looking for something that’s men specific that really is a defined kind of platform for them to engage with the community aspect is huge. We need each other. One of the biggest strategies of the enemy is to isolate and to get us, you know, on our own. And I think the community aspect is huge. So really I’ve been looking for tools. I’ve seen a lot of different things over the years. You know, a lot of great ministry based tools, but I think the endurance is something that that we hope to be able to offer as we go out and do marriage conferences as men reach out and want some help.
Blake: Well, I’m excited about the endurance and I think the endurance will be great for those guys and we will definitely welcome them into the community. Well, Jeff, let’s dive into your story a little bit. Where’s your porn story start?
Speaker 2: Actually a, it starts generations before me. You know, my dad did know his real father, but knew enough to know that his father had some serious issues as it related to the sexual sin. My dad met his dad or more was with his dad like twice in his life. He wanted to go spent some time with him at his graduation. And when he did, he got off the bus and he met him there with a bottle of alcohol and took him to a brothel. And so my dad what city was this? This was in New Mexico, I think it was in Las Cruces, New Mexico. My dad grew up in North central Oklahoma, small town there, and punk a city. And so he went back home and make kind of an inner vow that that he didn’t want to be anything like his dad.
Jeff: But as we all know, generational sin has a major draw, a major magnetism. And unfortunately it had the same pool on my father too. My mom and dad conceived me out of wedlock. And so they were steeped in the 60s culture if you will. They decided to go ahead and get married. But like all of us, you know, all of our problems don’t start when we say I do. We take a four or five piece luggage set a family generational sin propensities and things into the marriage. And for most of it, we keep all those secret. And my dad did the same thing. I know that when I was young, the first time I remember seeing pornography, man I barely could walk, but it still in my memory. I can remember my mom and dad having parties again, just envisioned the 60s try to channel the 60s. I can remember you know toddling into rooms and asking myself, why is that man wrestling with that girl woman, you’re young and don’t know what sex looks like. You know, you’re exposed to that.
Jeff: I remember going to work with my dad if I spent time with him. My dad was a great provider. Workaholic also alcoholic, high functioning alcoholic would go to work with my dad. He worked in a warehouse environment. So on Saturdays he’d take me and sit me on a bucket and he would give me some menial tasks to do. But that warehouse was wallpapered and Playboy centrefolds. And of course, even as a young a young man, you know, probably five years old, five, six years old my motor is already running. My sexual motor is already running. So what God purposed for us in terms of our sexuality was awakened before it’s time in me.
If any guy is interested in stopping porn or masturbating they should get some help. They can look at the no fap movement ( nofap ), covenant eyes, xxx church (xxxchurch), the freedom fight, pure desire, 7 pillars, the conquer series, and fight the new drug or try to see a counselor. The Endurance would love to help guys. A great start to overcoming porn and masturbation is to take the 30 day challenge. Go to theendurance.org/30daychallenge to take it.