Speaker 1:                           00:06                     [inaudible]

Speaker 2:                           00:07                     besides sexual and environmental triggers, there are also emotional triggers that can lead people to act out. Many men who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior will say an urge that they can’t resist, seems to hit them out of nowhere, but once these same men grow in their emotional awareness, they often discover that it is the unseen emotional triggers that are moving their brain to seek relief through sexually acting out. When you feel negative emotions, your brain has learned to medicate the pain. As we’ve seen, the limbic system begins to treat these negative emotions as a survival issue and it seeks to provide relief and it knows where to go to find the biggest immediate relief that your brain gifts. Once this pathway has been well-traveled in response to negative emotions, these emotions become the trigger that move you down this pathway almost automatically when you’re feeling down or stressed or angry, that can trigger the brain to start craving the unwanted sexual behavior because it will give you that jolt of dopamine that you think you need.

Speaker 2:                           01:09                     It provides a very powerful pathway that takes you from feeling bad to feeling magically wonderful when you sexually act out to medicate emotional pain, it quits being about just the sex and becomes about meeting the needs of the addicted brain. The porn pathway is well worn and the brain has been trained through repetition to travel down it. In response to these negative emotions. Confronting the emotional triggers begins when you learn to read your emotions. Growing in self-awareness is a must. The emotional triggers can sometimes be the most difficult to recognize and address. So we want to give you a simple tool to help you evaluate your emotions. The acronym blasted represents the common negative emotions that often trigger the urge to act out. It stands for bored, lonely, anxious, stressed, self-doubting, ticked off, exhausted, depressed. These are normal emotions that all of us face, but they become triggers when we have learned to medicate them through sexually.

Speaker 2:                           02:13                     Acting out. Evaluate yourself to determine which of these emotions you most regularly experience. Boredom is a state of feeling weary because one is unoccupied or lacks interest in one’s current activity. Loneliness is a sadness because one has no friends or company. Anxiety is often caused by stress but remains even after the stressor is gone. Fear overcomes all the motions accompanied by worry and apprehension. Stress comes from the pressures we feel in life and is caused by an existing stress causing factor or stressor. Self-doubting can be related to poor performance, rejection or a low self identity ticked off as being angry because of conflict or frustrating circumstances. Exhausted is being physically and or mentally depleted because of overwork or inadequate sleep or both. Depressed is being in a state of general and happiness or despondency. Men who aren’t aware of their emotions continually find themselves getting blasted by them and sexually acting out to medicate the negative feelings, but when they start becoming more emotionally aware, they start seeing the pattern of a negative emotions leading to a desire to Medicaid.

Speaker 2:                           03:27                     They also discover that if these emotions are left unchecked, it triggers a craving that eventually they feel compelled to feed. When you are blasted with these negative emotions, it often progresses like this. Your mind turns to sexual fantasy as a way to numb out. This can cause a dopamine burst that helps relieve the pain, but it also increases your cravings for more fantasy. Uncheck progresses to routine where you set the table to act out could be going into your room, checking out social media or surfing the internet. When you are in and out of fantasy, you are even more sensitive to sexual stimuli which you easily find online. This feeds the urge until you start looking at porn and act out. Part of growing in self-awareness is recognizing this tendency to isolate when you were blasted, when you experience one of the blasted emotions, purpose, not to isolate yourself, but go to a public place or connect with friends.

Speaker 2:                           04:26                     If you don’t know your emotions and routines, then you won’t be able to have these boundaries. Whatever emotions led you to use in the past can trigger you in the future. If conflict with family members growing up regularly resulted in medicating through porn, then when you get into an argument with your roommate or girlfriend, you may have the same urge to act out because conflict and anger have become triggers. When you recognize your triggers, you are able to address them effectively and ask for help. If stress has been a trigger than during stressful times, you can make sure not to isolate yourself and you can tell your accountability about the situation so they can ask you about it later. Those who aren’t self-aware tend to isolate themselves and not reach out which results in falling back into old patterns of medicating the pain. It’s a breakthrough when you understand that freedom requires a banding and key aspects of your lifestyle associated with the bondage for many pursuing isolation when blasted so they can medicate the pain has become a source of great comfort.

Speaker 2:                           05:30                     When blasted these routines become the centerpiece of the person’s attention. The pivotal point around which everything else revolves for some giving up these routines is the biggest sacrifice of all because they discover that these routines are a place of comfort that they have bonded to through years of medicating your pain. You’ve learned to be soothed by sexually acting out, which makes it more difficult to give up. It is absolutely necessary for you to identify the specific things that set you up, both the triggers and the addictive routines that you’ve developed to make you feel better when you’re down. Once you grow in your self awareness, you will see clear indicators that reveal when you’re headed for trouble. Learning to understand the sequence is exactly why a small group is essential. Articulating your feelings is a foreign experience for most guys. So doing this regularly in your small group helps you cultivate this essential skill beyond understanding your emotions and setting up boundaries to stop routines that lead to relapse. You must learn how to face your negative emotions instead of medicating them. If people don’t develop new approaches to coping with these negative emotions, the pattern will continue. Learning to face the negative emotions is a must and a topic we’ll tackle later on.

Speaker 1:                           06:54                     [inaudible].

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